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THE POLICE IS YOUR FRIEND: One of The Greatest Lies of All Time by Abdulfatahi Ishaq Ayomide


THE POLICE IS YOUR FRIEND: One of The Greatest Lies of All Time by Abdulfatahi Ishaq Ayomide

THE POLICE IS YOUR FRIEND: One Of The Greatest Lies of All-time.

The Nigeria Police Force, as once defined by an intellectual, is the officially endorsed set of notorious armed bandits saddled with the responsibility of killing innocent Nigerians at the slightest provocation. I will indulge the permission of this intellectual in rephrasing it as follows:
The Nigeria Police Force in the more elaborate definition, is the officially endorsed group of notorious psychopaths saddled with the responsibility of injuring, harassing, torturing or often time murdering innocent citizens; organizing and supervising criminal activities; aiding, abetting and collaborating with criminal elements and lastly, ensuring the absence of peace, order and wellness in the Nigerian state.


It is a widely known fact, most especially among the transport workers, that, one of the easiest way to send a friend request to untimely death, is to refuse, argue or show reluctance in obliging the #20/#50/#100 request of a police officer on patrol. Sometime last year, an Okada man in Ondo was sent into the warm arms of death by a police officer because he stubbornly refused to part with the #50 legal entitlement the latter demanded. This and many more such insensate killing, assaults etc are what the Nigerians are now getting acquainted to. A police officer now boldly tell citizens: “I will waste you, and nothing will happen”. Well, such boast is not really strange to their history. Some decades back, during the presidency of Alhaji Shehu Shagari, an era in which thuggery, violence and criminality were the joint order of the day, Sunday Adewusi, the then I.G.P. appeared on a national TV, pointing at the uniformed officers, that stood at his back and flank he said: “These men are trained to kill. Those who want to make trouble for this government will have to face them. I guarantee such dissidents the bloodiest experience of their lives” (see The Open Sore of A Continent, W. S. Pg. 66) And truly, over the years, such declaration by an I.G.P has since stood the test of time. Till date the Police remain notorious for their gruesome murder, insensate harassment & torture of citizens for reasons anything but sane. Hence to say the Police are a major factor in the widespread of crimes and unrest in the nation, is a criminal abuse of the use of euphemism. It isn’t surprising that intellectuals and Human Rights activists like the venerable Prof. Wole Soyinka has since given them a most apt nickname: Kill-and-go.


Sometime last year, there was a robbery around my area, it was right in the middle of the night. As the operation was going on, clandestinely, one of the affected persons put a call through to the police station in the district. Hours since the call, neither the Police nor their station nor their “Swift Response Squad” Car was seen. It took the effort of the vigilante to drive off the robbers. When the vigilante had intervened, the robbers while fleeing had dropped all they stole in a surrounding bush. It was while the vigilantes were raiding and searching for the fleeing robbers that the “Swift Response” police arrived. They joined in the search. They found out where the fleeing robbers left their “steals”; electronic gadgets, cash more than #30,000, and so on and swiftly took possession of the items. When the woman whose money was stolen got to the police station in the morning to reclaim her money, a miracle had happened. The money stolen from the woman was in #1000, #500 denominations but the money produced by the police was anything except what was stolen. With the few hours the money spent in the police custody, it was no longer itself, a rapid weight loss had happened to it that from #30,000 plus, all that was left of the money was less than #5,000 and the most miraculous of it all was that the recovered money was now in #50… #20… denomination -the roughest, dirtiest and the most mutilated you can possibly come across. The money produced, was obviously the product of their early morning extortion from motorist, Bike man…
What was most surprising was their alibi for getting to the scene abnormally late. They claim they have never had heard of the name of the community until that night.
Some questions I have always found myself asking myself is:
Why is the police response to robbery always late?
The probable answer is: To allow their comrades on the robbery ground enough time to complete their task. Their own quota towards the success of the operation after the supply of arms.
Why is it that the police must blow their siren from afar while visiting an ongoing robbery scene going on at the dead of the night?
It is either some element of this force are directly or indirectly involved in the logistics of such robbery hence they have to alert their surrogates on the ground to round off their activities and leave so as not to be caught or they possibly were sounding the siren to notify the spirits, ghosts, etc that might be plying such road at such time to leave their way.
Whichever way, Monday Osunbor – Lawrence Anini’s romance story is a perfect case study in this regard. It answers the ambiguity behind if some police officer are covertly involved in the planning and execution of robberies.


It is not outlandish neither is it impossible, the certitude of some reports of the police substituting influential criminals in their custody for random innocent citizens they pick up anywhere, especially at night. There was a young lady who escaped from the den of a ritualist Chief, she hurriedly headed to the nearest police station, reported the chief, her ordeal with him and how she made her near-death escape. While talking to the DPO, she noticed the man’s demeanor was strange but she showed no sign of noticing it. When she was done reporting, the DPO promised to immediately work on her report, consoled her and assured her the man will be arrested. On leaving the DPO’s office, she decided to eavesdrop on the DPO who was now making a call:”… she came here just now to report… she escaped while you were discussing with that Baba… We should keep her?… Oh! she left already, I will send my boys to get her…. ” this was when the lady took to her heel out of the station. The chief in question was a kidnapper but one who had the unflinching support of the D.P.O.

After all the above, we can now go back to that statement: THE POLICE IS YOUR FRIEND – that graffiti or slogan you set eyes on first, on entering any police den in the country. Putting this statement to a forensic analysis as par the above cited atrocities and many more left unsaid, one is left with the conclusion; that the statement in itself is nothing but an evident irony; that the statement is a deliberate attempt to deceive the Nigerian people; that the statement is a malicious presentation of a deadly group of psychopaths as “friendly” to the unsuspecting Nigerian populace; that the statement is nothing short of the requirements to qualify for one of the greatest lies in collective history of the country.

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